Log in

What Not to Say

If you can't say something nice...

Posting Access:
Select Members , Moderated
A community for the discussion of the wrong things to say in delicate situations.
Welcome to sayingitwrong. The community is here to explore the unfortunate things that people say during delicate, sensitive, or vulnerable times, or that privileged people say to the less privileged. The idea is that a couple of times a week a mod will give the community a group or situation and the members comment with rude, hurtful, or unhelpful things they have heard, said to them or to others, in that situation or group. The focus of the community is on why these things are the wrong thing to say. Some things might be self-evident, but if you have a reasoning or story behind why a particular thing was hurtful, please share it.

A few things to remember:

1. BE RESPECTFUL. The people who are sharing things that have hurt or upset them are in a vulnerable state, please be respectful of other commenters. It's entirely possible for two people to live through the same general experience and have very different reactions. Don't invalidate the emotions of others, and please don't make fun of anyone's stories.

2. BE CAREFUL. We're going to talk about some difficult situations in this community as well as some lighter things. Be aware that some topics may be triggering, for example, we will discuss things not to say to rape victims or to people who have lost children. These topics are difficult for a lot of people. The posts themselves will be relatively neutral, but if it's something that is likely to trigger you, you might want to stay away from the comments.

3. PARTICIPATE. The goal of this community is discussion. That means the more people who are involved the better the community will be. As time goes on we will probably find shortcuts, things that people should never say, and things that fall into broad categories. Don't be afraid to speak up if you see connections between something someone experienced in a previous post and the newest topic at hand. From time to time we will also be asking for ideas of groups or situations to talk about. These posts will have screened comments and if you have ideas, please share them with us.

People who are genuinely disrespectful or trolling will be given one warning and then be banned for a month. A second infraction will lead to permanent banning. Please do not delete comments, though if you do have to because you regret sharing something deeply personal, you should send a PM to the mod that posted the topic when you delete to let them know why.

If you need to get in touch with a mod, please go to the mod contact post or send a private message to merlyn4401, thexphial, velvetpage or zeerust

Topics Discussed
Abortion - contemplating or already had one
Abuse Victims
After Rehoming a Pet
Autism Spectrum
Adoptive Parents
Alternative Diets
Breakup / Divorce
Fat People
First Date
Food Service Employees
Interracial Children, Parents of
Invisible Disabilities
Lost a Loved One
Lost a Pet
Mentally Ill
New Parents
Older Parents
People of Color
Pregnant Women
Rape Victims
Recent Immigrants
Single Parents
Special Diet
Teen Parents
Terminally Ill
Trying to Lose Weight
Visible Disabilities
Your Boss
Your Parents